11 Things You Only Know If You’re a Mum of Boys
4. You can never have enough food in the house.
As soon as they can open a door, your days of fully stocked cupboards are over. A plague of locusts? Pah. They’ve got nothing on a gang of boys.
5. How to embrace your inner Hulk Hogan.
Boys love a wrestle and they really don’t care if you aren’t ready to rumble. You will become a master of the bundle, the bodyslam and that one where you break a chair over someone. And then Mummy gets very cross and everyone has to go to their room, including Daddy.
6. How to darn the knee of a pair of jeans.
Once they learn to walk you’d best get busy with the needle and thread. You’ll be using them a lot.
7. You need to start a dedicated savings account, just for their shoes – like yesterday.
Those feet ain’t getting any smaller. In fact they’re likely to increase by a half size every three months.
8. Sticks are very important objects.
They are THE best for waving about, attacking a younger sibling with and even snuggling up in bed alongside. Woe betide you if you throw one away (top tip – blame the dog).
9. Boobs are endlessly fascinating from day one.
Once you’ve got past the breastfeeding stage, they’ll become a punch bag, something to prod during storytime and part of a hilarious game where your son will try and expose one to anyone you’re having a conversation with – the more inappropriate the better. Flashing at the postman? Been there, done that.
10. If having boy children didn’t make you feel outnumbered enough, your life will also be invaded by millions of other men.
Whether it’s Spider, Bat or Iron man (to name but a few), they’re all coming to a T-shirt, TV screen, cup, wall or bedclothes near you. There’s no escape – they even make Spider-Man toilet seats, you know.
11. They really love their mums.
The phrase Mummy’s boy was invented for good reason and nothing beats an ‘I Love you Mummy’ hug. Just get ready for the punch in face they’re likely to follow it up with…
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